To be a graduate

The life of an unemployed graduate is most certainly nothing to boast about! After all those years of education and budgeting, you get excited about the prospect of leaving it all behind to finally enter the real world of work and money and freedom. But why do we have these delusions?

It has been far from work, money and freedom. It has been unemployment, countless job applications, obsessive waiting for the phone to call and realising that your social life has diminished so badly that you follow whoever is next through the door around the house like a lost sheep!

Now I sit here at home bored as hell wondering what I could do. There are various useful things I could be doing with my time. First of all I could be applying for more jobs- although I've done that so much recently that the idea of unemployment seems much more appealing than having to fill in the 100th application. My brain is a blur with boasts of my past achievements and my various CV layouts.

Secondly I could be writing the article that I said I would for Winchester's student magazine. But I have over a week before the deadline, have done all the research, and I think that in that space of time I could find myself even more bored than today and would really need a project like that to focus on for the day.

So that leaves me with other options. Pick a new hobby. I want to start learning to play the guitar again but being back in my parents house I have to respect the fact that my Dad works night shifts and so guitar playing is not possible until after 2pm. Even when he is awake, I'd rather not practice with him around because he hunts me out just to tell me that my playing sounds awful. This then puts me off playing all together.

I could watch a film but the weather is at that stage where its hot but cloudy and I have this weird guilt consume me, as if I should be outside all day long to appreciate that it's not raining for once.

Basically there are lots of things I could be doing but cannot motivate my brain to do any of it because I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself which is utterly pathetic. My lazy git attitude is most definitely not helping but before any of you can call me an ungrateful, moaning, time-waster I will end with a positive phrase; the only way is up!!